


¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ft. Newsies

by tianjin



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, but a Majority of the characters are here, david is pure and needs 2 b protected, honestly idk, im too lazy to list all of them, there are many memes bc. i mean. this is a chatfic. idk what u expected honestly, this is just me, trying to buoy the newsies fandom from Sinking and experiencing Fandom Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7207835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tianjin/pseuds/tianjin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the newsies are in modern america & want to raise minimum wage.  also, everyone's gay.</p>
<p><b>BROOKLYN</b>: redemmed<br/><b>2swag5pokego</b>: blocked.  reported.  blacklisted.  unfriended.  i dont know who u are anymore.  were breaking up fuck u babe i hate u & ur dead to me.  ill show up @ ur funeral & give n 8 hour long eulogy abt how much of a prep u were<br/><b>BROOKLYN</b>: thats if u outlive me bitch</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **brOOKL Y N** : spot conlon  
>  **98djacobs** : david jacobs  
>  **o shit waddup** : jack kelly  
>  **2swag5u** : racetrack higgins  
>  **dinakara** : sarah jacobs

 

**brOOKL Y N**   _has been added to_ **Group Chat**.

**brOOKL Y N:**  let me take a wild fucking guess and say that its fucking 98djacobs who made the chat  
**98djacobs:** Yes, that was me.  Why?  
**o shit waddup** : leave my bf alone 

**brOOKL Y N** _has renamed the group_ **Brooklyn 5ever.**

**2swag5u:** i s we ar to fu ck ing god if i e V er meet anyone  who ac tu ally Likes Brooklyn im gonna beat them up  
**brOOKL Y N:** wtf fight me race.  i could take u.  i could take any of u  
**o shit waddup** : how ur like 2 feet tall ???? fight my shins  
**brOOKL Y N:** fuck u  
**2swag5u** : dont fuck jack he + david r in a Committed Relationship who raised u  
**brOOKL Y N:** ok u know what ?? ?  ?? i dont need u.  i dont need any of u  
**98djacobs:** Hey, you guys, Sarah wants to be added into this chat.  Do you guys mind?  
**o shit waddup:** i mean i guess i dont really care  
**brOOKL Y N** : d o n o t

**dinakara**   _has been added to_ **Brooklyn 5ever.**

**2swag5u:** fuk did no one change it from brooklyn 5ever? ? ? ? ?where r our priorities ppl , , ,, honestly , ,, im disgusted + betrayed

**2swag5u**   _has renamed the group_ **Manhatten is Better.**

**o shit waddup:** nice  
**brOOKL Y N:** u fu ck ing spelled manhattan wrong  
**2swag5u:** no thats how everyone spells it now spot god get w  th e T IMES  
**98djacobs:** Wait, do people really spell it Manhatten? Why?  
**2swag5u:** tag urself im me  
**brOOKL Y N:** thats 100% not how it works  
**dinakara:** follow me on insta @dinakarah !!!  <3

**dinakara**   _has left_ **Manhatten is Better.**

**brOOKL Y N:** ok , ,,  now that shes gone,,,  
**98djacobs:** Please don't make fun of my sister.  
**2swag5u:** i hate 2 agree w spot but every time she comes in here she just tells us to follow her on instagram n then she leaves  
**brOOKL Y N:** i deleted my instagram just so id never give in  
**o shit waddup:** wtf is that why u never like my "like if u up" posts  
**brOOKL Y N:** i want to make it clear that i never liked them even when i still had an instagram account  
**o shit waddup** : ?????????????????????????????????????  
**2swag5u:** u literally post them 24/7 i was @ class and u were sitting 4 feet away from me and u posted a "like if u up" post  
**o shit waddup** : did u like it  
**2swag5u:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
**o shit waddup:** ive been betrayed

**98djacobs**   _has renamed the group_ **Minimum Wage Strike Organization + Union**

**98djacobs:** Okay, guys, can we focus on the actual reason for this, though?

**brOOKL Y N**   _has renamed the group_ **No.**

**98djacobs:** Spot, if we don't take this seriously, then no one will take it seriously.  
**brOOKL Y N:** im taking this seriously ???????? lets have a riot !!!!!!!!!  
**o shit waddup:** riot !!!! R IO T !!! R IO T  
**98djacobs:** No! If we have a riot then everyone's just going to think we're angry and violent, and nothing's going to change!  
**brOOKL Y N:** im angry n violent this is gr8 lets have a riot  
**2swag5u** : tag urself im spot  
**brOOKL Y N:** that meme is dead dont u dare use dead memes to describe me  
**o shit waddup:** wtf spot the tag urself meme isnt dead  
**98djacobs:** Can we please focus? Obviously, this is going to be hard, since we're trying to get the government to raise the minimum wage.  But we have rights, and one of them is a living wage!  
**o shit waddup:** <3  
**brOOKL Y N:** gay  
**o shit waddup:**?? ur gay too  
**brOOKL Y N:** ?? did i stutter  
**98djacobs:**  Okay, anyways, have we decided when we're having our next march?  
**2swag5u:** april 20  
**98djacobs:** I'll put it on the calendar, but don't you think that's a bit far? It's January.  We should have a march that's a bit sooner.  
**2swag5u** : im crying  
**o shit waddup:** my bf is so pure  
**brOOKL Y N:** disgusting  
**98djacobs:** What did I do? Anyways, since no one's suggesting anything else, I guess our next march will be on April 20th.

**98djacobs** _has renamed the group_ **Next March: April 20, 2016**

**o shit waddup:** hone y , , ,, babe ,, , sweethear t, , ,,no  
**98djacobs:** What's wrong with April 20th? Do you have something on that day? I mean, right now it's just an idea of when the march might be.  
**brOOKL Y N:** nothing wrong.  lets have the riot on april 20  
**98djacobs:** We're not having a riot!

**brOOKL Y N** _has renamed the group_ **were gonna have the biggest fu ck ing riot april 20**

**98djacobs**   _has renamed the group_ **We're going to have a large march on April 20!**

**brOOKL Y N:** none of u deserve me.  im out

**brOOKL Y N**   _has left._

**2swag5u:** someone add him back in im worried hes gonna go commit a felony

**brOOKL Y N**   _has been added to_ **We're going to have a large march on April 20!**

**brOOKL Y N:** god fuc kcing dammit i was almost free from hell  
**98djacobs:**  Alright but we're definitely having the march on April 20, right?  
**brOOKL Y N:** yes : )  
**o shit waddup:** n o rule #1 of,,,,, ,, we're gonna have a large march on april 20 club: dont take spots advice  
**brOOKL Y N:** thats the Worst reference ive ever heard wtf  
**98djacobs:** We need a date for the march!  
**2swag5u:** april 20 is perfect  
**o shit waddup:** why are u like this  
**98djacobs:** Okay, April 20 it is.  Sorry, Jack, if you have an event I guess you'll just have to miss the march. :-(  
**brOOKL Y N:** holy s f uck ing shit theres still people who put noses on th eiru fk cing emojis  
**2swag5u:** do u really want to date him after having this knowledge jack  
**o shit waddup:** at least davey is Pure ? ? ? unlike ur sinful asses  
**98djacobs:** We have a date set.  Okay.  That's great.  The meeting's conceded, we're done! Goodbye!  
**2swag5u:** look,,,, dave,,,, i hate to break this to u but this is an online chat

**98djacobs**   _has left._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so idk this is 1) my first chatfic also my First Ever fic. if u didnt tell i really Do Not write that much fic in general its just bc ive been tracking the sprace tag on tumblr and there wasnt any content in a while and i Love sprace !!!! so here i am. also, i dont know that much abt bumlets, mush, boots, kid blink, etc tbh, sorry, so theyll probably make only Occasional Appearances ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	2. ch2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **mYST I C** : spot conlon  
>  **98djacobs** : david jacobs  
>  **team instinct** : jack kelly  
>  **2swag5pokego** : racetrack higgins  
> 

**team instinct:** lets do next monday 4 the rally tho  
**mYST I C:** get ur frat boy ass outta here  
**team instinct:** ? ?? ????? ???? ? ?  
**mYST I C:** only frat boys join fuckin team instinct u preppy fuk  
**team instinct:** u only kno that bc ur a scemo  
**mYST I C:** u shut u r uf kci ng mou th  
**2swag5pokego:** 3 days in n civilized society has already collapse,d, , ,,, what  atrageyd , , ,, th at the millennials need the craze of a pathetic game such as pok e go to f E EE l anything ,,, ,, , that they have shut themselves in2 their virtual worlds instead of consuming dirt n being 1 w nature  
**mYST I C:** says the fuckin loser w a windows phone

 **team instinct**   _has added_ **98djacobs**   _to_ ** **We're going to have a large march on April 20!****

 ** **mYST I C:**  **jfc nearly forgot abt ur mess of a bf  
**98djacobs:** :-(  
**2swag5pokego:** u kno the worst thing is i dont even think hes doing it ironically  
**team instinct:** stop insulting my bf hes way cooler than u  
**mYST I C:** he owns a pair of crocs jack  
**team instinct:** he what  
**2swag5pokego:** iconic  
**98djacobs:** I like crocs.  They're comfortable to wear, although probably not for long distances, and they're well made.  
**mYST I C:** i cant believe ur bf actually fuckin likes crocs jack how far have u fallen  
**98djacobs:** Anyways, I think we need to talk about organizing the rally.  Of course, it's happening quite far in the future, but planning is crucial to the good execution of any concept, including rallies such as our own.  
**team instinct: ♥♥♥**  
2swag5pokego: gay  
**mYST I C:** gay  
**team instinct:** u 2 are Literally Dating n every time i say anything abt my #Amazing Boyfriend u do this 2 me  
**2swag5pokego:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **98djacobs**   _has renamed the group_ **Rally Organization + Planning.**

 **98djacobs:** Anyways, like I was saying, we'll need to plan well and plan efficiently.  Who wants to make the posters?  
**mYST I C:** anyways mystic just took union square bitches fuckin fight me  
**98djacobs:** Mystic? Who's Mystic? Are you Mystic? How did you take Union Square? Please don't tell me you stole a statue again, this isn't good for our rally publicity.  
**mYST I C:** actually i dont remember ever stealing a statue from union square i should do that.  which one should i steal  
**2swag5pokego:** steal washington he looks pretentious  
**team instinct:** wtf didnt instinct just have it? ? ???? ?? ? we tried really hard 2 get union square  
**mYST I C:** yeah and u just lost it bc everyone recognizes that instinct deserves nothing but hatred and disgust  
**98djacobs:** Who wants to make the posters? Please focus.  I'm not sure what you're doing but I really want this rally to go well.

 **mYST I C** _has renamed the group_ **#MysticPride.**

 **2swag5pokego:** ill make the posters dave.  seeing as how all these millennials r too absorbed in their lil poke games 2 do anything real !!!!!!!  
**mYST I C:** nice try i found ur childhood collection of pokemon cards a week ago ur just bitter u cant download poke go  
**2swag5pokego:** fuck  
**mYST I C:** nice charizard tho  
**2swag5pokego:** thx i got it bc someone bet me i wouldnt climb on the roof n jump 3 times.  i broke my knee but i did get a cool charizard  
**team instinct:** gay  
**mYST I C:** that doesnt even work here jack go home to ur frat house  
**98djacobs:** Jack, you joined a fraternity? When? Did you make sure to join a fraternity which is actually friendly to the liberal cause or did you just get drunk and accidentally stumble in on a haze again?  
**team instinct:** uNCALLED FOR THAT WAS ON E UF KC ING TIM E !!!  
**2swag5pokego:** wasnt it 2??????? first it was the one w the guy who was really tall and then it was the guy w a huge tattoo of a knife on his cheek  
**mYST I C:** wait actually i think i kno him.  the 2nd guy  
**2swag5pokego:**? ? ? ?? why  
**mYST I C:** he sells knives  
**team instinct:** fuk it actually was twice ,, , , shit  
**98djacobs:** So you joined another fraternity, Jack?  
**team instinct:** babe, ,,, no , ,, ,, ,,,,,, spot n race r just being  A  S  S HSO L E S S  
**2swag5pokego:** we did it babe we're "" " " "asshsoless"" "" " " " " high five  
**team instinct:** listen  
**98djacobs:** Okay, I still don't understand, but okay.  
**team instinct:** wait also so were all ignoring the fact that spot knos the random fraternity guy who has a huge tattoo of a knife on his cheek  
**mYST I C:** he sells knives  & i buy knives  
**team instinct:** ??? ? ?? ? ? ? ?? ????? u stole 4 dollars from me + u said it was for lunch ??? ??? why didnt u use ur knife money to buy lunch???  
**mYST I C:** why would i need 4 whole fuckin dollars for lunch jack u played urself by believing me  
**team instinct:**  ???? ? ? ? where are u buying lunch the fuck spot  
**2swag5pokego:** what did u use jacks lunch money for spot  
**mYST I C:** knife  
**2swag5pokego:** where did u get a knife for 4 dollars can i have one ill give u my charizard for it  
**mYST I C:** no u wont  
**2swag5pokego:** fuck ur right  
**98djacobs:** Can everyone please focus! Spot, did you really buy a knife for 4 dollars? Please don't tell any journalists covering this about that.  We really don't want it to interfere with our peaceful cause! If they know you buy knives on the regular they might assume we're organizing a violent rally and then we might get our permit revoked.

 **mYST I C**   _has renamed the group_   **Knife Club.**

 **mYST I C:** lets sell knives at the rally  
**98djacobs:** That is the exact opposite of what we should be doing, Spot! It's supposed to be a peaceful rally.  
**mYST I C:** fundraising  
**98djacobs:** Please tell me you're joking.  Don't bring knives to the rally.  Do you think I should ask Sarah to post about it on her social media accounts?  
**2swag5pokego:** honestly?? ? ?? ?? ? i just still cant believe theres ppl who still call it social media in 2k16 tbh.  god bless  
**mYST I C:** jfc dont tell sarah to post this what if ppl think its an aesthetic candle burning rally  
**98djacobs:** Sarah has ten thousand followers on her instagram.  Many of them live in the New York area.  If she posts about it, we might be able to rally their support  
**mYST I C:** hey look full offence my guy ??? ? ? but theyre literally all like, ,, , aes bloggers,, , ,, the only thing theyd rally 4 is lower prices of fairy lights ,, , ,,  
**2swag5pokego:** also spot has like ?? ? ?? 50k followers.  or smth like that idk idr  
**team instinct:** wtf the fuck the fuck spot promo me  
**mYST I C:** ur entire account is fuckin "like if ur up" posts jack try again later frat boy u fuk  
**98djacobs:** How did you amass so many followers, Spot? Out of curiosity.  And is it possible that you could post advertising the rally?  
**mYST I C:** 1) im fuckin cool as shit thats fuckin why 2) dont get me wrong pal i luv having money n a living wage so i can live  & buy knives & shit but like, , ,,,, i have a Reputation 2 uphold,, ,  
**2swag5pokego:** u posted like 9 pictures of ur pokego pokemon n u named them all brooklyn trust me u have nothing to lose if ur advertising the shithole that is brooklyn  
**mYST I C:**  brooklyns 100x cooler than " " " "Manhatten""  "" " "" fuck u  
**2swag5pokego:** ;)  
**team instinct:** gay  
**2swag5pokego:** yeah but were like, , the cool gays  
**98djacobs:** Spot, can you post about the rally or not? We're serious about this.  We're going to commit to this, and force New York to raise the minimum wage.  
**mYST I C:** idk ill buy some more knives  & get back to u on that

 **mYSTIC** _has left_   **Knife Club**.

 **team instinct:** is he really going 2 buy knives  
**2swag5pokego:** honestly?? ? ?? i have no fukin idea.  probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 is finally out. sorry 4 bein Hella Slow but. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ im doing my best. probably ill update faster next time tho lmao


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> listen im so sorry that i waited literally 4-5 months to update but ,, here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **BROOKLYN** : spot conlon  
>  **98djacobs** : david jacobs  
>  **hot choclety** : jack kelly  
>  **2swag5pokego** : racetrack higgins  
> 

**2swag5pokego:** ahh aha ha haha ,, , ,,, the YOUTH , ,, they are DEFEATEd, ,,, i am finally Redemmed in my campaign against pokemon go, ,,, its december  & no one plays it anymore.  i am not only a visionary,,, im a prophet  
 **BROOKLYN:** redemmed  
 **2swag5pokego:** blocked.  reported.  blacklisted.  unfriended.  i dont know who u are anymore.  were breaking up fuck u babe i hate u  & ur dead to me.  ill show up @ ur funeral & give n 8 hour long eulogy abt how much of a prep u were  
 **BROOKLYN:**  thats if u outlive me bitch  
 **98djacobs:** Okay, anyways, Sarah said she'd advertise the rally on her instagram page.  We really need to organize and get ourselves together so we can have a shot at this and I think a social media presence is always a good thing to have! We should make a hashtag--420Rally or something.  
 **hot choclety:** babe i lov u despite ur crocs but no  
 **2swag5pokego:** thats gay !!!! yea  
 **BROOKLYN:** dont listen 2 jack david Go For It Start the Hashtag become Liberated from jacks presence.  make 420Rally trend  
 **hot choclety:** babe if u ever luved me dont  
 **2swag5pokego:** im a trustowrthy per son  & li ke ? ??? ? i just ,, , ,,i ju st think you shoul d  _go f o r i t_ like jaks, , ,, jacks a DOW n er,,,, he doesNT APPRECIATE the BEAUTY of ur #CreativeMind,, ,,, u should break up w him  & forge a Nu life from the ASHEs of ur old one ,, ,,, im a guru trust me , ,,, M A KE t h E H AS H TA G  
 **2swag5pokego:** the room smells li ke, , ,, like  FU ckin g candles r n  & like, , ,im emo  
 **BROOKLYN:** no ur not u poser  
 **hot choclety:** is he drunk  
 **BROOKLYN:** were all drunk u fu k  
 **98djacobs:** I'm not.

 **BROOKLYN**   _has renamed the group_ **drunc club**

 **BROOKLYN:** boi looks like daveys the odd one out : ) guess we'd better oh idk kick him out of the group it just doesnt feel like home when theres a Not Drunc in here  
 **hot choclety:** Stop Attacking My Amazing Boyfriend His Name Is Davey  & I Love Him  
 **2swag5pokego:**  what the mot her uf kc is a drunc  
 **98djacobs:** Race, I think it's a drunken typo of the work "drunk" (which is used as a noun to refer to people who are drunk).  And Spot, I understand that you're trying to be funny, but this meeting was originally called so that we could  _organize_ and become a stronger movement and everyone just got drunk.  
 **BROOKLYN:** i dont appreciate the insinuation that i was 1) trying 2 b funny  & 2) that my jokes have ever missed the mark my jokes r good right babe  
 **2swag5pokego:** ur dead to m e you pPRE P  
 **BROOKLYN:** u responded 2 babe tho ;)  
 **hot choclety:** thats gay !!! ! !!!!!  
 **BROOKLYN:** yeah  
 **98djacobs:** Spot, I'm asking you another time to please consider posting about the strike on your social media page--what did Jack call it? Jack, what's it called? Instagram? Or was it Facebook?  
 **BROOKLYN:** again i wasnt joking anyone who thinks id E v er have a facebook is dead 2 me  
 **2swag5pokego:** i mean like 2bf ,, ,,,,bab,,e,,, theres like, ,, a lot of ppl who are lik,,,,e,, dead 2 u  
 **BROOKLYN:** true but hes especially dead 2 me  
 **hot choclety:** i love my bf  & hes alive & healthy  
 **BROOKLYN:** u sound like a 90 yr old nurse  
 **2swag5pokego:** this is , , , li k ,e,,, an oth er SI I GN,,,,, @98djacobs, , ,, a sIGn,, leave jack , , go somewhere where ur like, , , FREe,,, of his 90yroldnursehood, , ,,u Understand, ,,  
 **hot choclety:** why is it ur goal to get my boyfriend 2 break up w me  
 **BROOKLYN:** i just want the drunc club 2 b the drunc club  & hes not drunc hes the weakest link he has 2 go somehow  
 **98djacobs:** Okay,  _anyways_! Spot, will you post about it on your--Instagram, then? Will you post on Instagram about it then?  
 **BROOKLYN:** u dont even have a serious date for it yet ? ?????? ???? ill ruin my Upstanding Reputation as the leader of Brooklyn when u show ur serious abt it  
 **98djacobs:** It was you guys who suggested April 20th, and I still don't understand what's wrong with it.  Of course, it's a bit far, but I think more preparation could be really useful.  
 **2swag5pokego:** be free e eeeee e eeeee e eeeeee eeeeeee  
 **hot choclety:** are u gonna take race home hes like.  not doin good  
 **2swag5pokego:** im do in G f IN E asejoij1 !! ! !!!!! snA KES EVE R Y Wh ere, , ,,,,, eye emoji  
 **BROOKLYN:** did i just hear u fu cki ng say eye emoji in2 ur FU CKINg phone were breaking up  
 **2swag5pokego:** i al rEA DY BRO KE UP WI TH  U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEAT U TO IT,,, im a pro,,, take a fucki g n sip b a bbes,, babbys, , ,, babbbbbbbbbra,, barbara, , , ,,,,,, barbara Streisand, ,, wawawawawa  
 **hot choclety:** u should take him home  
 **BROOKLYN:** wtf r u a frat boy or arent u,,, lets draw on his face  
 **98djacobs:** This is all really juvenile, if you'll let the insult slide.  I need everyone to work together so that we can get the rally together.  Please.  
 **BROOKLYN:** ill thro a knife @ a calendar  & that can b the rally date  
 **hot choclety:** u just wanna throw a knife this is my house stop  
 **98djacobs:** Okay, I'm going to go drink some eggnog.  I'll be back.  Hopefully you've all decided to cooperate then.  :-//  
 **2swag5pokego:** a HO U se, , ,,,, isn t AH OM e, ,, home is where u fefel S A FE ,, ,,, fefel ,,, falafel, ,

**2swag5pokego** _has renamed the group_ **Fallfel YEar 17.**

**BROOKYLN:** u tried babe

 **BROOKLYN**   _has renamed the group_ **2017 is the year of falafel**

 **2swag5pokego:** RETWTETE  
 **BROOKLYN:** ik babe its ur own tweet  
 **2swag5pokego:** ou go t m e tThere bUt ,, ,, 217, ,, also the yr of , ,SUPport, , ,,,Lovin g, ,Care  
 **BROOKLYN:** thats gay   
 **2swag5pokego:** UR A G AY ,,, im go cry  
 **hot choclety:** im usually all up for shenanigans but like my #AM A Z ING BOY FRI EN D is angrily drinking eggnog  & race is like,,, collapsed,,   
 **2swag5pokego:** i MA fi neee e EEErw  
 **BROOKLYN:** i want 2 thank the academy 4 my mess of a bf hes really gay which is cool  & hes also really Drunc  
 **BROOKLYN:** also wtf jack u fake frat how do u kno the word shenanigans  
 **BROOKLYN:** im taking race home since hes a loser who cant hold his alcohol

 

**98djacobs** _is now talking to_ **hot choclety.**

**98djacobs:** *sigh*.  Did they both leave?  
 **hot choclety:** did u seriously just write out sigh  
 **hot choclety:** yea tho race is like really drunk  
 **98djacobs:** I just feel really strongly about this you know? We have rights.  We deserve to be heard.  We're fighting a fight that needs to be fought and I really do believe in this, and I wish Spot and Race did too.  
 **hot choclety:** im sure they do theyre just stubborn  & difficult dont worry abt it  **♥♥♥** **♥♥♥** **♥♥♥**

 **BROOKLYN**   _is now talking to_ **2swag5pokego.**

 **2swag5pokego:** dove son o , , ,,,,,,, ,,, 1!! !!! ou sui s  jE ???? ??! cabhfui l , , ,,,, me  ,ee,e,,,, ob i juan , ,,, ur my only h o , ,  ,,,, **  
BROOKLYN:** i took u home bc u were drunk as fuk  & talking abt falafel **  
** **2swag5pokego:** nO T dr uN C  
 **BROOKLYN:** im an icon 90 yrs from now theyll use drunc  & ill kno it was i who Began tHis  
 **2swag5pokego:** im NE v er u seing Dr un"c" "C""" aAIn, do u He aa r.  ill nEo t veru se . ., . . !  /;  
 **BROOKLYN:** lmao u mcfucking(TM) loser  
 **2swag5pokego:** i d Int 23 buy Sn ive  
 **BROOKLYN:** wht the motherfuk is a Sn ive  
 **2swag5pokego:** knight emo  
 **BROOKLYN:** sto p try in g t o use ur sp ee ch 2 t e xt its not fucking working bc ur a loser  & ur drunk  
 **2swag5pokego:** w Ho s D r un " k " "k,, , nO t m !  
 **BROOKLYN:** sure lmao  
 **2swag5pokego:** u hs ou ld li ke , , ,, ,,d O I T ! ! !!!!!! 420rall   
 **BROOKLYN:** im surprised ur still able 2 type out 420rall even if u missed the y ur weak ass is barely coherent  
 **2swag5pokego:** u sh ou ld ! ! ! ! !@ !! J!$@IOGJ d O I T !!! tHE R Al l y ,,, u have 2 , , , bELi e v e, ,, in t Hi sn g,s,,,, DAv e,us, ,, doning a J ob hes Tr yi n H ar D &??  
 **BROOKLYN:** lmao ok  
 **2swag5pokego:** u ha v e 2 !!! b lei v,e ,,,, tr ust me, ,,im g uURURUUUUU  
 **BROOKLYN:** oh my god just go the fuck 2 sleep


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **BROOKLYN** : spot conlon  
>  **98djacobs** : david jacobs  
>  **can i get a fucking uhh** : jack kelly  
>  **2swag5** : racetrack higgins  
> 

**BROOKLYN:** hey @my bf did u like miss out the 2nd half of ur un  
 **can i get a fucking uhh** : why do u @ me every time i reply w/ heart emojis to davey when u literally refer to ur bf w every other breath  
 **BROOKLYN:**  its gay  
 **can i get a fucking uhh** : ur gay  
 **2swag5:** um "jack" thats homophobia ://  
 **BROOKLYN:** u kno wats real homophobia ? i cant kick ppl outta the chat anymore bc ur fuckin bf made it in2 admin privileges  
 **98djacobs:** It's to prevent us getting sidetracked by jokes and the such.  I'm sorry, but it's necessary!  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** sldkjk why is my name in quotes  
 **2swag5:** if thats really ur name  
 **98djacobs:** I don't understand? That's his name, though? You all know it's his name.  
 **BROOKLYN:** hey can u give me admin privileges? its important  
 **98djacobs:** Um, okay?  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** BABE NO

**Admin 98djacobs**   _has given user_ **BROOKLYN**   _admin privileges._

**Admin BROOKLYN**   _has kicked_ **Admin** **98djacobs**   _out of_ **2017 is the year of falafel**.

**can i get a fucking uhh:** oh my god add davey back in  
 **BROOKLYN:** my town now  
 **can i get a fucking uhh: @2swag5** tell ur bf to add my bf back in  
 **2swag5:** im gay  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** spot oh my god hes the og admin .... we have 2 have him  
 **BROOKLYN:**  um im not "having" anyone other than race  
 **2swag5:**  ❤❤❤❤❤ i lov communication and respect in a relationship   
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** i hate this fucking group chat  
 **BROOKLYN:** sadpepe.jpg  
 **2swag5:** nvm suddenly idk a spot ! i need a new bf pls @ me  **@2swag5** u must have at least 30,000 dollars in cash to qualify :)  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** theres 2 ppl in this chat other than u n neither of us have 30,000 dollars in cash  
 **BROOKLYN:** i can buy u a knife  
 **2swag5:** hot ... suddenly im dating a spot  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** "nvm suddenly idk a spot" - race, 1:44 pm "suddenly im dating a spot" - race, 1:45 pm  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** also what happened 2 30,000 dollars in cash ive never lowered my standards a day in my life bc im date the most amazing boy ive ever met  
 **2swag5:** umm m mm thats so fucking rude we get it ur a baby boomer who doesnt fucking understand millennial relationships isnt it time for u to invest in some index fund n stop bothering the youth who arent gonna die in like 5 yrs  
 **BROOKLYN:** u have ur un set as 2swag5  
 **2swag5:** yeah 2swag5 U.  im breaking up w u fuck u, , , like um ,, , , honestly i just li ke ? ? i l i ke ,, , i , , , i deserve someone who respects me for everything that i am n its clear at this point in our fck in g ,, ,, F Ai ing, , failing relationship that its not gna work out n like i deserve someone better :/  
 **BROOKLYN** : sadpepe.jpg  
 **2swag5:** im gonna date u just so i can break up w u n break ur heart in the process for that  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** please add davey back in  
 **BROOKLYN:** what the fuck im flirting w my bf dont fucking interrupt  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** please add davey back in  
 **2swag5:** tag urself im the bf  
 **BROOKLYN:** babe ilu but thats like literally not how the meme works  
 **2swag5:** u brought up pepe in the yr 2k17 fuk off  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** Please Add My Boyfriend David Jacobs Who Has Done Nothing Wrong Ever Back In  
 **2swag5:** im just lik e, ,, i cant fuckign , ,, the lvl of like ? disrespect to spot n mines like, , ,rELATIONship ? in this chat? it's like fucking,, unreal and i cant fucking stand it anymore honestly i just ? im ! fed up im so fucking like, , ,tired of all the disrespect like, , how fucking d a re , youo ?  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** i just want 2 speak 2 my bf again i havent seen him in 40 yrs  
 **BROOKLYN:** wow thats so sad :( meanwhile my bf n i have a healthy n lovin relationship  
 **2swag5:** which bf bc its not me i hate u  
 **BROOKLYN:** my bf n i have a healthy n lovin relationship  
 **2swag5:** ok yeah ❤❤❤❤  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** I Too Would Love To Have A Happy And Loving Relationship But You Kicked My Boyfriend Out Of The Chat

**Admin BROOKLYN**   _has added_ **98djacobs** _to_ **2017 is the year of falafel**.

**2swag5:** ok Noah Fence 2 davey but why did u do that spot

**98djacobs**   _has renamed the group_ **Rally Planning and Organization.**  
  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** SPOT NEARLY FUCKING STABBED ME SLKDJFLSDKJFLWEKJR LSDKF? ? ?????  
 **BROOKLYN:** its what he deserves  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** spot what the fuck are u always just fucking carrying knives  
 **BROOKLYN:** um yeah where would i put them.  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** In Your House.  In A Locker.  In A Storage Unit.  You Could Bury Them If U Wanted To.  the possibilities r truly fucking endless spot what the FUCK  
 **2swag5:** ok no 1 it wouldnt b as hot if he put them in a fckin storage unit jack wtf no 2 im breaking up w u spot i cant believe u let a frat boy like jack steal ur phone ://  
 **BROOKLYN:** sadpepe.jpg  
 **2swag5:** is someone like fucking paying u to use pepe  
 **98djacobs:** Pepe? Like the racist meme?  
 **BROOKLYN:** ALS KJ ALWKEJF SDF SKLDJF WLE JFK  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** davey i  
 **2swag5:** iconic.  
 **98djacobs:** And Spot, did you really nearly stab Jack? If you do that at the rally then we'll have so much negative press! Please don't do that.  
 **BROOKLYN:** buddy u dont even have a fucking date for the rally n once u set one im gonna go there n immediately stab jack 420 times.  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** can i get a fucking uhh  
 **BROOKLYN:** no  
 **2swag5:** SM a ck DO WN W, , ,, , W ,w, , ,, s CI k b UR n, ,, , ,good job babe  
 **BROOKLYN:** ;)  
 **98djacobs:** I've explained this a hundred times, Spot, but unless we have a lot of people behind us the rally just won't happen.  Sarah already told me she'd advertise it on her--what's it called, Jack?  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** tumblr  & instagram babe  
 **98djacobs:** Tumblr and Instagram.  
 **2swag5:** tU M b l r, , ,, oh bo y , , , 'd never b caught D E a do n th at si t ,e, ,, ,,  
 **BROOKLYN:** stop lying babe u posted a selfie once n it didnt get any notes so u deactivated  
 **2swag5:** Why Didnt U Fucking Reblog It U Fake BF  
 **BROOKLYN:** u can b like a fake friend but i dont think its like possible to be a fake bf also i was asleep  
 **2swag5:** luks like i found the snake ! snakeemoji.png  
 **98djacobs:** You also have a Tumblr, Spot? Can you advertise the rally on it, please?  
 **BROOKLYN:** im not fckin ruining my reputation for this  
 **98djacobs:** Sarah's doing it!  
 **BROOKLYN:** ya sister tells anyone who asks her anything to cut out red meat and dairy.  
 **2swag5:** b4 i deactivated 2 lessen the toxic impact of social media on my day2day life i once asked her if she was in lov w/ that reporter girl shes always rbing n like she told me that i shuld cut out dairy 2 make my days brighter + ended it w/ follow me @hanii im a ray of sunshine  
 **98djacobs:** She's a good person.  
 **BROOKLYN:** she runs a pale aes blog

**can i get a fucking uhh**   _has renamed the group_ **follow me @whenwillitbmonday im not a ray of sunshine but i am gay and i am doing my be [...]**

**BROOKLYN:** frankly w a url like whenwillitblkldjdaflsd u dont deserve followers  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** not everyone can have a url like knife  
 **2swag5:** url ? never heard of i t.  kids these days r so attached 2 tech they even categorize themselves by "you are el"! LOL  
 **98djacobs:** Sigh.  Looks like you guys aren't going to focus.  You guys don't want it to be on April 20th for some reason so fine, I'll just set it as ... March 20th.  Is that okay?  
 **can i get a fucking uhh:** sounds great babe ur amazing  <333  
 **BROOKLYN:** gay

_4:00_

**98djacobs:** Really, no one else cares enough to reply to me? Fine, okay, it's March 20th then.  
 **2swag5:** 3.. ,, 320 blaze it


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **BROOKLYN** : spot conlon  
>  **98djacobs** : david jacobs  
>  **mmm cronch** : jack kelly  
>  **owo** : racetrack higgins

**********BROOKLYN**   _has renamed the group_ **n oak street fucking sucks you cowards**

 **owo** _has renamed the group_   **n oak street has a chipotle**

 **BROOKLYN** _has renamed the group_ **then go drown in their fucking chili**

 **98djacobs:**  Can we stop squabbling? I think we have more important things to discuss.  I just don't know if this is a productive use of our time, honestly.  The march is approaching so quickly and we don't even have an official flyer design, much less any of it printed.  
**BROOKLYN:** it's important to me that you don't use the bitchiest color of all time  
**98djacobs:** On that point, Spot, you haven't even committed to the rally yet.  I don't understand why you're so invested in the flyer design.  
**owo:** please refer to my fiance with respect.  
**BROOKLYN:** i just fuckin hate yellow  
**mmm cronch:** hes not even your fiance  
**owo:** dont police my love you homophobe  
**mmm cronch:** im gay  
**owo:** internalized homophobia  
**98djacobs:** Okay, Spot, I understand you have an aversion to yellow for some reason, but Sarah worked really hard on the flyer and no one else is designing one right now.

 **BROOKLYN**   _uploaded file_ **knife13458.jpg**

 **98djacobs:** This is just a picture of a knife.  
**owo:** wow ... i love a man with C U L T U R E u wu uw uw uwu wu uw . ..... no one else can #relate ... did u know knives are literally thousands of years old? owowo ... my finance is so sophisticated uwu  
**98djacobs:** Finance?  
**mmm cronch:**  everyone owns knives  
**BROOKLYN:** u own two (2) plastic mcdonalds knives  
**mmm cronch:** theyre still knives  
**mmm cronch:** theyre even more modern than spots knives so u could say i'm like, a modern man right babe  
**owo:** wrong  
**mmm cronch:** ur not my babe  
**BROOKLYN:** did u just insult my boyfriend? square up mcfucker  
**mmm cronch:** i  
**98djacobs:** Spot, I'll ask Sarah to tone the color down, okay? Is it that the color hurts your eyes or something? Like it's too bright?  
**BROOKLYN:** im not fuckin eighty  
**owo:** this is a mortal offense against our honor ... i guess jack and spot have to fight to the death now  
**mmm cronch:** i didnt even say anything  
**owo:** Guess Jack And Spot Have To Fight To The Death Now ,  
**98djacobs:** Please just tell me your issue with the flyer.  
**owo:** i mean for one thing the background is just four billion follow me @dinakarahs tiled into a texture  
**BROOKLYN:** it looks like an advertisement for a pale aes meetup

 **owo** _uploaded file_   **bkjenkdfnvlsdn.png**

 **98djacobs:** I don't understand what this is...?  
**owo:** a cow  
**98djacobs:** But does it have any relevance to our protest discussion...?  
**owo:** i am gifting you a picture of a cow out of the kindness of my heart and i continue to be exploited and taken advantage of in this godless chat.  i don't understand why no one seems to want to try and understand me.  to try and peel back the onion-like layers of my heart to see the true beauty lurking within.  i don't feel appreciated.  
**BROOKLYN:** die then  
**owo:** babe what the McFuck  
**mmm cronch:** top 10 anime betrayals  
**BROOKLYN:** ik this is a hard concept for u jack but u cant make fun of those anime videos if u regularly watch them  
**mmm cronch:** this is slander  
**BROOKLYN:** then fuckin sue me coward  
**owo:** hes broke he spent all his money on juice cleanses  
**mmm cronch:** Listen, As a Millennial, I Value My Health.   
**BROOKLYN:** you did it to try and impress your boyfriend  
**owo:** yeah it was like super obvious u carried them everywhere to try n show davey that u were like .... healthy n shit  
**owo:** actually u left some of them at my apartment theyre still here looking fuckin green and gross  
**98djacobs:** Please stop fighting.  Spot, why don't you design a flyer then? We can compare Sarah's flyer to your flyer and make appropriate adjustments based on your concerns.  
**mmm cronch:** _N O_  
**BROOKLYN:** sure

 **BROOKLYN**   _uploaded file_   **br2.jpg**

 **98djacobs:**  Did you make this in MS Paint?   
**BROOKLYN:** yeah its perfect  
**98djacobs:** It's inappropriate, Spot.  We aren't trying to incite a riot.  This is a rally.  
**owo:** no its perfect like my bf  <3  
**mmm cronch:** he didnt even spell knives right?  
**BROOKLYN:** dont be a fucking homophobe youre already on thin fucking ice in this chat  
**mmm cronch:** MY BOYFRIEND IS THIS CHATS ADMIN  
**BROOKLYN:** is he still gonna be your boyfriend after he finds out that you accidentally dumped out his spf 100 sunscreen  
**98djacobs:** What?  
**98djacobs:** What ?

 **98djacobs** _has left._

 **owo:**  omg ... top 10 anime deaths  
**BROOKLYN:** did he just flip out over some fucking sunscreen hbdkjfhsvhlhkhew  
**BROOKYLN:** Local BirdWatching Enthusiast Finally Fuckin Snaps After His Dumbass Of A Boyfriend Uses His Fucking Sunscreen  
**mmm cronch:** 1) why did u capitalized the watching in birdwatching 2) race i already made that joke 3) is he gonna come back  
**owo:** nah this is it for ya buddy.  you destroyed a promising relationship over ur liberal sunscreen usage  
**owo:** also my joke was funnier  
**mmm cronch:**  its the same joke ????  
**owo:** my joke was funnier also arent u concerned  
**mmm cronch:** i mean yeah but hopefully hes just going on a hike to calm down  
**BROOKLYN:** its karma for all the times u wore denim  
**mmm cronch:** omg fuck off i like to wear jests ok  
**owo:**   __J E S T S  
**BROOKLYN:** now that daveys outta the chat i can honestly think that i kinda thought he was the biggest fuckin loser in our friend group but jack fuckin kelly not only still wears denim he wears denim VESTS and he fucking calls them jests  
**owo:** this is just like that movie i watched as a child starring iconic legend mariah carey,  
**mmm cronch:** u dont even make sense anymore  
**BROOKLYN:** he read three tweets on my timeline and now he wants to fit in  
**owo:** shut UP i already fit in im one of the youth im YOUNGER THAN YOU  
**BROOKLYN:** you literally are not  
**owo:** thats fucking ... thats fucking fake ?  
**mmm cronch:** when is my boyfriend going to come back  
**owo:** shut up gay  
**owo:** also hes not.  this is it.  i guess we're never gonna see a kelsey - jacobs wedding invitation ... kinda sad  
**mmm cronch:** why kelsey  
**owo:** what so you didnt want to marry david?  
**mmm cronch:** i

 **mmm cronch**   _has left._

 **owo:** maybe hes gone to join his lover in the woods  
**BROOKLYN:** ik u are joking  & i love u babe but pls never use the word lover in my presence ever again.  
**owo** : owowowowowowoowowowowowoowowowowo

 **BROOKYLN**   _has left._

 **owo:** my town now

 **owo** _has renamed the group_ **i like n oak street's chipotle**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back after literally a year. sorry for the. year long delay. hope yall enjoy bc i am suffering


End file.
